Do you remember the tv show, Clueless?
Well ... I was obsessed with it!
And I mean obsessed to the point where I was writing down the outfit choices in detail to copy in my life ... because my life was nothing like theirs ... and that sucked … BIG TIME!
I wasn't rich (hello?! can you say council estate benefits family!) and I certainly wasn't popular (I was bullied from age 10 onwards to the point where I vividly remember eating my lunch in the toilets because I didn't feel safe anywhere else), and being British didn’t help either!
My favourite Clueless episode was the one where these two beautiful popular girls took a geeky nobody and turned her into a somebody! A beautiful popular somebody.
And I wanted that.
(I'd already glossed over the lack of intelligence after her transformation … being intelligent wasn’t cool … i'd learned that lesson through fucking tough experience … but that's another story!)
So, I wrote my very first coaching program.
I didn’t know thats what it was back then, and I didn’t even know this is where my personal development journey and path to life coaching began until last week, thanks to a very powerful session of journalling on something completely different to begin with! (Isn’t that always the way?!)
I created a workbook (gosh, I’m still addicted to creating transformation workbooks for you guys!) named after the makeover girl - The Felice Lesser Project - which would help girls like me to bring a little bit of that beautiful American life into your mundane British one. There were profile sheets for you to model your role models (for me it was Lizzie Maguire, the Olsen twins, and the Clueless girls). There were make-up sheets with perfect looks and how to create them, and there were outfit pages to mix and match your wardrobe to copy theirs as much as you could - it was an explosion of colour on a rainy day if nothing else!
It was my bible and I knew if I prized it so highly, someone else would too … so, in pure online biz spirit, even before I knew what the hell it all was, I made up a list of email addresses (I literally looked at mine and my friends emails and created similar ones) and sent my workbook out into the world for those who craved it to find. I wanted their prayers to be answered as much as I wanted mine answered.
But it didn’t end up quite how I imagined.
Instead my Dad gave me a bollocking because AOL had threatened to cut off the dial-up (yes, back then I believed they could ban us from the internet!) because they’d had complaints that someone had been abusing their account by sending unsolicited emails. It turns out my fake addresses in some cases were real … and the recipients didn’t want to become Americanised teenage girls!
So that canned my plan to go global, to find kindred spirits … but in my heart it lived on. But I had to go it alone because the message I got from putting it out there was that no one wanted it and if you did, you had to keep it to yourself. I hid behind this facade of dressing more colourfully, writing with fluffy pens and focusing on the superficial aspects of life, rather than what truly mattered, for years.
That story is just one of many but it is the perfect example on how I always wanted to be someone else.
I was never happy with ME.
No she wasn’t allowed out.
She had to remain hidden because she was a little weird.
She liked rock music AND country AND pop, not R’nB and dance music.
She liked to stay in and read books, especially adventure books filled with historical-academic treasure hunts and guns and baddies, and heroes saving the day, rather than wasting the day doing nothing but wander aimlessly round a shopping centre.
She wore cowboy boots with everything and didn’t care if her clothes had some label everyone else was sporting.
But that wasn't how things were done.
You couldn’t stand out and be popular, you needed to be another sheep in the herd.
And this continued for a very LONG time … until I realised being fake was fucking tiring.
Neither did it get me the happiness I craved.
Years later I realised I was the key to my own happiness.
No one else.
Being myself, listening to my own voice and following my own desires and passions, was what made me happy.
Truly and deeply happy.
Wearing cowboy boots made me happy.
German rock music made me happy.
Reading book after book after book in bed at the weekends made me happy.
And now I stand in that power. I celebrate my authenticity every single day because I want to be happy … because happiness is a choice you are in control of.
Are you living happily in your authenticity right now?
If not, you are missing out on your life … and I don’t want that for you. You deserve to fucking SHINE!
Life is too fucking short to waste any of it being anyone other than you and anything other than happy … trust me, I know that so powerfully right now!
Are you ready to heal your past stories and step into your Greatness as the powerful YOU that you are?
If so, join my group of beautiful ladies who are growing into their Greatness with their own authenticity … I'd love to have you there and help you on your journey if I can ... Here’s the link http://www.facebook.com/groups/thegreatnessacademy
Stop Living an Inauthentic Life! It’s TIRING and making you fucking MISERABLE!